Live to Illuminate rather than to Manipulate

When communication matters, active listening matters. Your normal casual conversational style will not work. It will be ineffective. 

Active listening is hearing what the speaker said, rather than thinking about what you want to say next as the other one is still speaking.

Active listening requires shutting off the pre-dispositioned mind.

Active listening requires asking clarifying questions.

Active listening allows for the speaker to make their point before you make yours.

Active listening mandates not interrupting.

When you use active listening, you can build trust.  Enduring relationships depend on trust.