Mind, Stop Talking to Me, I Can’t Hear the Person I’m Talking To

The mind is a wonderful place…sometimes.  Our behaviors can be triggered by such subtle things that in turn, affect our emotions, judgments and even our reactions. 

I find, that often, as adults, we comply or resist, depending on what is in it for us personally. This assessment is done on such a subtle level and at such warp speed, that it rarely gets questioned or challenged. Yet when definitive statements are made or directives are given, we might suddenly react, rather than respond. We take the statement or directive as a personal affront instead of as a statement to consider.

Our mind is there to protect us. It is built to do so, just ask the paleomammalian or neomammalian brain within. It will tell us when we are being undermined (we don’t want our authority questioned).  It will inform us when we don’t want to engage (this statement I just heard sounds like a challenge). It will tell us when we feel threatened (we don’t want to appear indecisive) etc., etc., etc.

In this COVID-19 abrupt, immediate and for some, extreme changes in day to day life, the need to shelter has led to frustration and aggressive based communication (both verbal and physical, both overt and covert). As you listen to local, state, and federal officials regarding COVID-19 directives, or as you interact with those you are living very closely with right now, use these techniques to become more aware of your response and begin to change how you respond.

Ask yourself if you are reacting to a comment or statement being made. You’ll most likely experience this behavior by having an immediate “reaction” to the comment or statement.  

Next, inquire within, as to what the trigger was that made you react. Then ask yourself, what did this trigger threaten in you in ways that threatened your beliefs, Know your beliefs and values so you can identify what in you can be threatened.  

Of course, it is important to be our best selves. But defending our positions is not what relationship is about. Relationship needs compassion, listening, understanding, and appropriate allowance.

Don’t let your mind overtake your intentions with those you are close to, in this COVID-19 environment. The mind may want you to do what you want, while in society and relationship, the mind has to acquiesce to another presence. This is the environment to understand how to do so (be in relationship) in ways that enhance ourselves and each other. Doing so may be more complex than the effort we had previously been giving it.

So, excuse me mind but I need to say this to you:  Mind, Stop Talking to Me, I Can’t Hear the Person I’m Talking To.

Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged, Is That It?

Judge not lest ye be judged, right? Well, not exactly, but I’ll explain more in a minute.

Twice, recently, I had people cancel appointments with me. I understand that can happen. I have done it occasionally myself. The question I have about it is the firmness in making that appointment to begin with.

It is very important for me to keep my word, as this speaks to a value I hold in high regard. My words carry meaning and intention. This carries through to making appointments. I make them and commit to them. Occasionally, this can create a problem when other possibilities come up that, in my mind, I would rather schedule than that other appointment I already made. But I do not casually reschedule. If I really want to reschedule. I will ask the person with whom I made the initial commitment if we can reschedule. If they cannot or do not want to, I will honor the agreement we made. It was made first.  I do not always see that reciprocated.

Now, back to judge not lest ye be judged. Well that is not always the entire sentence. There are periods, semi colons or commas in various translations of this phrase. The full (or next) sentence reads: Judge not lest ye be judged; for what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measure to you again.” Think about that! I can play by that rule.

So yes, I am affected by rescheduling me. It speaks to me of integrity and commitment. I judge by that.

3 Keys to Keeping Your Life’s Battery Charged

It’s important to keep a car battery in good condition. I know because my car wouldn’t start the other day. My Mazda Miata summer car had been patiently waiting, through the rainy winter, to take me out on a warm sunny day. And of course, with the top down! Well, that didn’t happen.  I went to Ahura (the name of the Miata), to start it up. Nada. Nothing. Zilch. Not even the headlights flickered. I didn’t understand, as I had just purchased the battery the summer before. It didn’t have a lot of time on it.

I think you are understanding the problem a lot faster than I figured it out! When I got into the car, and put the key in the ignition, I thought: “This is going to be a fun ride.” Ha! I soon learned that a car battery needs to be “exercised” at least every two weeks to stay viable. I did not know that. Now I do.

How does this relate to living a meaningful life?  You think, because you exist, that “things” will work out in your favor because you want it to.  Life has conditions and like a battery, life has best practices that need ongoing “exercise”, for best results.

When you feel run down, energy wavering, unmotivated, or floundering, it may be that your life’s battery is rundown. What can you do to recharge it?

First, you want to know what is truly important to you: not the things that are important, but rather, the values and principles that you live by and stand for. Are they responsibility, commitment, security, humor, integrity….? Take the time to know yours.

Second you want to know what your purpose (aim, intention) in life is, using your values as the principal components to define your purpose.  Along with defining your purpose, you need to determine your mission (releasing your purpose). Together, these provide the target (purpose) and the springboard (mission) for action.

From here, you determine your goals and objectives, add your timelines to them and set times to review, edit, and tweak.

Just like keeping your car battery in good order, you can keep your life in good order.  It is merely a matter of knowing how and following through on the best practice actions. 

You may not even know there’s a problem until there is a problem with your car or life battery. Now you have tools to help you recharge your battery.

If this sparked a thought or inspiration for you, write a comment. Let me know what you think on recharging your life’s battery. I would love to hear from you.