Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged, Is That It?

Judge not lest ye be judged, right? Well, not exactly, but I’ll explain more in a minute.

Twice, recently, I had people cancel appointments with me. I understand that can happen. I have done it occasionally myself. The question I have about it is the firmness in making that appointment to begin with.

It is very important for me to keep my word, as this speaks to a value I hold in high regard. My words carry meaning and intention. This carries through to making appointments. I make them and commit to them. Occasionally, this can create a problem when other possibilities come up that, in my mind, I would rather schedule than that other appointment I already made. But I do not casually reschedule. If I really want to reschedule. I will ask the person with whom I made the initial commitment if we can reschedule. If they cannot or do not want to, I will honor the agreement we made. It was made first.  I do not always see that reciprocated.

Now, back to judge not lest ye be judged. Well that is not always the entire sentence. There are periods, semi colons or commas in various translations of this phrase. The full (or next) sentence reads: Judge not lest ye be judged; for what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measure to you again.” Think about that! I can play by that rule.

So yes, I am affected by rescheduling me. It speaks to me of integrity and commitment. I judge by that.

What is Fair?

I bring this up is because of a recent action taken by a local school district which bothers me.

In high schools around the country, administrators plan early for their upcoming school year. During the summer they are already planning for the next years curriculum and end of year graduation ceremonies.  These ceremonies are a special and final opportunity to recognize students for completing their high school requirements and for excelling in academics, sports, extracurricular activities and other non-academic areas of high school life.  Specifically, colored cords and stoles are worn by those who have excelled in various subjects, sports, and activities. These cords and stoles are proud external representation of accomplishments to many parents, teachers, administrators and students.

A school district near me has decided that special recognition is not inclusive.  Yes, we knew that.  This particular school district sent an email to parents letting them know that next year there will be no recognition of honor. It might make others feel excluded. The school wants everybody to “…feel recognized and honored for all that they have achieved over their high school career.”  So, how does excluding some from being recognized for their achievements honor all they have achieved? What about those who have not completed their requirements?

I think this is over-reaching. High school is a gateway to adult life. Adult life sometimes recognizes those who have gone beyond baseline achievement. As students, I think it is important to understand and to deal with this discrepancy, rather than dismiss it. It is okay to recognized other people’s success rather than attempt to lessen the other person’s worth by having their achievements go unnoticed.

Fair is a word with a lot of personal emotion imbedded in it. Is fair equitable? Is fair political or hierarchal? Is fair to act like we are all the same and every effort always equates to the same result or consequence? Is fair a decision I make?  What is fair?

Leave a comment with your thoughts on this.

3 Keys to Keeping Your Life’s Battery Charged

It’s important to keep a car battery in good condition. I know because my car wouldn’t start the other day. My Mazda Miata summer car had been patiently waiting, through the rainy winter, to take me out on a warm sunny day. And of course, with the top down! Well, that didn’t happen.  I went to Ahura (the name of the Miata), to start it up. Nada. Nothing. Zilch. Not even the headlights flickered. I didn’t understand, as I had just purchased the battery the summer before. It didn’t have a lot of time on it.

I think you are understanding the problem a lot faster than I figured it out! When I got into the car, and put the key in the ignition, I thought: “This is going to be a fun ride.” Ha! I soon learned that a car battery needs to be “exercised” at least every two weeks to stay viable. I did not know that. Now I do.

How does this relate to living a meaningful life?  You think, because you exist, that “things” will work out in your favor because you want it to.  Life has conditions and like a battery, life has best practices that need ongoing “exercise”, for best results.

When you feel run down, energy wavering, unmotivated, or floundering, it may be that your life’s battery is rundown. What can you do to recharge it?

First, you want to know what is truly important to you: not the things that are important, but rather, the values and principles that you live by and stand for. Are they responsibility, commitment, security, humor, integrity….? Take the time to know yours.

Second you want to know what your purpose (aim, intention) in life is, using your values as the principal components to define your purpose.  Along with defining your purpose, you need to determine your mission (releasing your purpose). Together, these provide the target (purpose) and the springboard (mission) for action.

From here, you determine your goals and objectives, add your timelines to them and set times to review, edit, and tweak.

Just like keeping your car battery in good order, you can keep your life in good order.  It is merely a matter of knowing how and following through on the best practice actions. 

You may not even know there’s a problem until there is a problem with your car or life battery. Now you have tools to help you recharge your battery.

If this sparked a thought or inspiration for you, write a comment. Let me know what you think on recharging your life’s battery. I would love to hear from you.

The Power of our Values is Distinct

When living a life full of activities, projects, deadlines and other calendar driven things, where can you turn when you ask: “How do I add more meaning to my life?” What can you do when you want to explore the inner meaning, maybe not with as much passion as what is already consuming your life, but at least with some inquiry? Is there something more to life worth pursuing? I think so.

I still remember, when, years ago, a marketing consultant for my business, asked me, in my first assignment, to identify my values. At first, I was puzzled by this request as I was ready for the big idea to implement. But she was right when she said” To build the business, we must begin with you knowing your values, the foundation of who you are and what drives or motivates you.”  I nodded with skepticism as I had no idea of the benefit to looking at my values. She gave me a list of values and told me to identify my top 3 “Oh, that should be easy “I thought, as I looked at the words. But then, as I looked through the list, I found that most of them were significant. How would I choose just three? I did not know my top values.  I do now and for the last 20+ years, every year, I refer to them constantly in both my personal and professional lives. But why?

From that exercise years ago, I learned that values are our guiding principles. They tell us why we are motivated to take certain actions, why we decide to say yes to one thing of seeming import, and say no, to yet another. Our guiding values lead us.  As they lead us, and as we let them guide us, they help us to simplify our lives and pursue that which matters, with passion, purpose and success.

The power in our values is distinct. Think about a person who has had a powerful and positive impact to you, in your life. What is important about them to you? It’s likely a value will come up that is very important to you, one you still key to you today.

Our values act like an inner compass. We decide whether to listen and follow them or not. When we do, we feel more centered; when we don’t, we tend to feel more confused or rudderless.

Take Action to Avoid the #1 Regret People Have

Recently, I read an article about regret. Of course, it included the biggest regret people have, which I will disclose a little later. But first, what, exactly, is regret?

According to the Miriam Webster Dictionary, the definition of the noun regret is: “1-sorrow aroused by circumstances beyond one’s control or power to repair and 2-an expression of distressing emotion (such as sorrow).” I find those to be interesting definitions and I feel I need to add one more which is remorse or shame  not following up or completing that which I had the power to complete or repair but lacked the motivation, strength, or courage to affect. Let’s look at the etymology of “regret” to discover more about its meaning. Regret appears in old Norse as grata, meaning to weep, or groan, in the Proto-Germanic as gretan, meaning weep and in the French as regreter meaning “ pain or distress in the mind at something done or left undone.” These give me a clearer framework to work with when I hear the word regret.

In the article I was reading about regret, authored by Diana Bruk and published online by MSN, six studies were conducted with hundreds of participants. Each participant was asked what they regretted most in life. While people tended to regret their actions (current behaviors or activities) more in the short term, their inactions (things they did not do or behaviors they did not model) were regretted more in the long term.  We tend to put off, in the short term, actions, which in the long term, we regret having neglected. But all this was merely a backdrop to what people regret most.

The number one regret people have, according to these six studies is: not fulfilling their ideal self. WOW!!!!

You can avoid this regret. By knowing your values, your mission, setting your goals, both long and short term, then having a method of achieving your goals while expressing your mission and values, you will sidestep this huge regret.

And a shout out to those of you who have taken up the Life Focus System, you model the axiom of living your ideal self. You have constructed ways to return to the path, when you stray from it. You live a life of focused purpose. You reap its benefits, both short and long term.

No, Wait, Don’t Quit, You’ve Just Started

I recently read an article where the University of Scranton revealed the sobering news we really didn’t want to hear.

Many people, about 40% of American adults, make resolutions at the beginning of the year. They make them for all kinds of commitments, but the top ones, according to IQuanti and compiled from Google search data, involve getting healthy with weight loss and exercise programs, getting organized, and living life to the fullest.

Lofty objectives are set, to find that, by mid-February, people have parted company with 80% of their  resolutions, according to U. S. News. Apparently, January 12, is the most common day for resolutions to begin to waiver.

Overtime, according to the University of Scranton study, only eight percent of those who make New Year resolutions, fulfill them in a timely manner. Wow, what is going on?!

Perhaps it’s not in the making of the resolutions but in the motivation, payoff and real commitment to these resolutions.

With resolutions you have made, how specific were they? The more specific they are, the easier they are to stick to. Then building action steps to hold yourself accountable to are your best tools. But only make one action item at a time. Do not overwhelm yourself with “THE List” of action steps. Instead create the first step with a timeline, do it, report back, and add the next step. Your action steps will get you to your goal over time.

How is your commitment to your resolutions? Don’t quit yet, you’ve just started!

You Need the Right Focus to Live a Life that Matters

As you may know, the concept of purpose and its practice is key to happiness. Purpose is difficult for many people to grasp because we are encouraged to be constantly on the go, and to fit in, neither of which speak to purpose. It is easy to wander through life and look back at an advanced age and wonder: “What happened? Why am I unsatisfied? What was my purpose?”

What is purpose? The Etymology Dictionary says that “purpose” stems from the 14th century Anglo-French purposer, meaning “to design.” However, purpose did not just appear then, it had already played an essential role in Asia, the Middle East and civilizations going back millenniums. Purpose is a cornerstone to living a life that matters.

Author and co-founding partner of the Australian company, Sonder, Jonathan Hopkins, wrote in a blog wrote: “Successful organizations (like Nike, IKEA, Ben & Jerrys, Lorna Jane, Apple) all have an idealistic purpose which is followed, worshipped and preached by its employees and customers alike. Without a powerful purpose, leaders will struggle to motivate their employees and customers will struggle to find a reason to connect with the organization.”

What is your purpose and how are you expressing that in your community?

A Profound Quote from 1688 to Mull Over

Back in the day, this day being 1688, the poet, philosopher, and author, Jose DeLa Vega, wrote a book called Confusion de Confusiones: Portions Descriptive of the Amsterdam Stock Exchange. It is considered a masterpiece and the oldest book written about the stock exchange, then, the “leading center of the world.” The book is rare with only a half-dozen copies known to be still in existence.

Confusion de Confusiones is centered around the following characters: the philosopher, the merchant, and the shareholder as they bring their questions and share their knowledge, and perspective of the market. There is a passage early in the book which I want to bring to your attention: “Truth is not hurt by being hidden. It is hurt by being altered. “…Truth is not violated by those who hide it, but by those who alter it…” This resonates strongly with me as I try to decipher what is fact, as I try to understand various views and perspectives of the same experienced or witnessed event, as I try to separate what is real from what is illusory.

In the spirit of honoring your journey into meaning and significance, relevance and understanding, I give you DeLa Vega’s words to mull overs as you build your life of significance, searching for that which resonates true for you.

What This Mom Said When Asked Where Squirtle Was

Recently, I went out to a local park which housed a lake, that serves a spot  to heron, beavers, ducks, birds, and turtles. While I was there, the turtle count was 49 on just one log, nestled in the reeds. As I was looking at the turtles from my viewpoint on an extended pier, I head a child ask their parent: “Where is the Squirtle?”

I had to listen to Mom’s response. Her child was sincere in the question and worried that the Squirtle might not at the lake.

There was a slight hesitation as Mom carefully considered her response. She finally replied: “Here, Squirtles are found in their separate characters. Over there is the turtle. See its hard shell. Let’s watch what it does and consider why it does why it does, before we look for the Squirrel, the other part of the Squirtle.”

The child accepted the response and the challenge imbedded in it. Instead of joining the others who knew what was occurring on their phone and tablet screens as they crept through the park, this child began exploring and interacting with the world around her.

It was an incredible contrast in style.

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Wisdom from the Ages Can Be Accessed from this One Tip

I recently read a recommended book. The author, Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) wrote an autobiography, which was published posthumously in 1868. I would like to share a point that resonates with me and is as relevant today as it was for him, two hundred plus years ago.

To give you a little background, Franklin believed strongly in the attributes virtues had He went so far as to define the thirteen core virtues which were cornerstones to his life.  He defined what each meant to him, and this is insightful,  because he understood that each person defined virtues, individually. His definition was not necessarily theirs and vice versa.

Rather than focus on all thirteen virtues, he isolated one at a time. He started with temperance which he described as: “eat not to dullness, drink not to elevation” and focused on it for a week. He then moved on to the next, which for him, was silence, defined for him as: “speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation”, the next week he focused on order “let all things have their places; resolution “resolve to perform what you ought, perform without fail what you resolve” and so on.

As he focused on only one virtue per week, he could gain greater understanding of it for himself and its valuable application in his life. As the years went by he became dedicated and pronounced with his virtues, refining them in his daily life.   This contributed to the respect he garnished. He took the time to live from his “virtues”, intimately.

Each day he would begin by asking himself: “What good shall I do this day.” In the evening, he would reflect on his morning question by asking: “What good have I done to-day?” using one of the thirteen virtues he was focusing on.

Now, that is Wisdom from the ages.