Resolving conflict, at home, can be so intricate. Emotions run high, the ability to find clarity is difficult, the propensity to attack is tempting, the possibility of making a comment you could regret is lurking.
Those in conflict have choices to make. Generally speaking, the choices come down to these four: I call them The F.A.C.E
F stands for Force. Someone takes control and dictates an opinion, a decision on others. There is no debate. Their voice stands as final, unyielding authority.
A stands for Adopt. Someone abdicates, they give up. They declare truce with what is usually a false or temporary peace and adapt to the situation…for now.
C stands for Collaborate. All members decide to construct a resolution together. This can be a difficult road as it involves great listening, creative flexibility, and a lasting commitment to serving the bigger intention rather than one’s own agenda.
E stands for Exit. Someone decides the conflict is not worth their effort. They leave.
In resolving conflict, the path of collaboration is the one that brings the most durable and sustainable outcome. The others work but only temporarily
Which persona do you adopt in conflict? How does it serve the big picture? With force, adopt, and exit, the path is personal, the path is individual based. With collaboration, the path includes everyone. You might find that the origin of the word collaborate is the act of working together. This takes courage. This takes strength. This takes vulnerability. This takes compassionate understanding.
Next time you are in conflict, at home, consider this: Do you want to resolve conflict or dictate terms? It will make a difference in the outcome.
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