Often, it’s easier to keep things as they are than to ask questions. Often, it’s easier to not question procedure or request change in a family steeped in tradition.
It’s difficult and courageous to be the outlier who wants add to the family culture. Sometimes it is necessary for you to ask a question or two.
I have five tips for you who are in this role:
- Check in with yourself to the motive of your question. Is it to judge and force change or is it truly to ask a question to begin a conversation of understanding what is not now clearly understood. Do not muddle the two. That can cause confusion which can result in misunderstandings or mistrust.
- Know the intended outcome you seek. Is your intention to take control and make change. Is it to seek clarity? Is it to disrupt or seek revenge? Is it to add to what already exists? What is your intention?
- Request an opportunity to talk about what is on your mind. When you have the conversation scheduled, send an agenda with the proposed topic and intended outcome. As the request is made by you to convene a meeting, you are the host, you control the agenda.
- Stay on topic. Do not deviate, as tempting as it may be. Allow others the opportunity to communicate their perspective, without interruption or judgment.
- Listen. Others have their points of view and perspectives that are important to them just as you are to you. Understand that.
As you seek to influence or impact, you want to be sensitive to the existing framework. It is stronger than you.
Focus your life: Tips 